Handling Shyness—Sonics little adventure

Handling Shyness—Sonics little adventure

Sonic comes along when we visit and volunteer at a pet-friendly nursing. We used to think he was quite outgoing (he is) and not at all shy (wrong).  People love dogs, and we were quite happy to share the joy with our social butterfly, but then things changed. With Sonic the change seemed abrupt and alarming, as his behaviour went from an apparent 'yay, people! butt wiggle' to tail tucked slink away 'I want outta here' and afraid of treats.  On afterthought, because hindsight is everything, I realized that sometimes forward 'friendly' behaviour is actually 'appeasement' and 'checking out a potential threat' so when all goes well, you have what looks like a 'friendly' dog, and when things don't go well, the shyness seems surprising, but it's not--it was there all along, just not interpreted as such by the humans.

Here's what I did about it.

Sonic has been taught that approaching 'scary' objects is a lucrative win win deal.  Basically, if he so much as looks toward a 'scary' thing, I will mark (using a clicker or 'yes') and offer a treat (tasty tidbits) at that exact moment. Often, this will lead to a full inspection. It's important that he always has a choice to advance and/or retreat.  Outdoors I use a 15' leash (I can always shorten it as appropriate) and indoors a 6' leash (ditto). This would be the pre-training: a skill set I created from my 1st week with him when I realized he was afraid to cross a metal bridge.

Look up-- 101 Things to Do with a Box, and Donna Hills "Look  At That" training video if you need a fill on clicker training techniques, and marking and shaping behaviour.

Once I realized how bad Sonic's problem at the nursing home was (he was beyond taking treats-literally afraid of hands) I needed to first figure out what we did wrong. Wrong was anything pushy, like shortening up the leash so people could pet him. Equally pushy but less obvious, was using a treat to coax him to come closer to people, along with letting others coax him with treats.  Letting people coax or command him into their space with voice and whistles. All these things had been happening over and over again, eroding his trust and confidence.

Some of this was beyond our control, and that's where some active training comes into play.

I chose to mark & treat Sonic anytime someone said his name or whistled or otherwise tried to engage him.  This let him know that he need not worry about commands or pressure from other people, it let him know that it was okay, and quite lucrative to ignore people, and that when strangers say his name (or whistle, etc.) good things happen and they come from me. It let him know that when other people paid attention to him good things happen. It let him know that when other people paid attention to him, he could keep his distance.
If he was still having trouble, I would have him do known, fun, commands, sit, spin, something easy. It would put him in a more confident frame of mind.

Once Sonic's attention was squarely on me, he also became 'less available' for petting. People get bored quickly when the dog ignores them, which meant there was less pressure directed at him. This helped put him at ease and I didn't have to bother with socially awkward explanations or attempts to control the behaviour of other humans.


I added back the 'mark and treat' for engagement or interest in strangers while at the same time marking and treating any 'shy' or 'avoidance' behaviours.  In otherwords, I let him know that any choice he made in regards to dealing with strangers would be the 'right' choice.

Once that was going well, I added back giving dog-knowledgeable (co-operative) people a treat, and he had a choice of taking the treat or not. I mark/treat any choice he makes, so if he didn't want the treat, he still got a treat. If he did take the treat, he also got a treat. Win, win, win!

Things are pretty much back to normal now, and it's a matter of maintainance, which means, no matter how socially awkward it may be to tell someone, 'he's shy, maybe not today' we must not push him into 'saying hi'  and let him make his own choices.

PS.  Sonic is NOT a therapy dog, in this context he is a visiting pet dog. There is no obligation for him to meet with strangers, but socially, it is really nice to have friendly interactions with dog.

PPS.  This is one dog in a specific situation, so it's not general advice, just a story of 'what I did'.  Obviously, if your shy dog choses a less passive method of dealing with shyness, this doesn't apply.

Coultice Park Dog Training in the Rain

Don't let the weather stop you!

Coultice Park--training

Training/practicing the following cues, spin (clockwise), twist (counter-clockwise), sit, down, stand, bow, tall (stand like a man), pogo (jump straight up in the air).  Using the wall to help with position.

Distance Down Training Challenge

Training Challenge, Down at a Distance.

Upping the ante, "down" with free dog.  You rock, Sonic!

Introducing the Stouffville Dog Training Meet Up Group

Sonic and I are always on the look-out for dog training buddies to keep us on task, otherwise we just wander off to sniff the flowers or chase the squirrels.  The Stouffville Dog Training Meet Up Group lives on Facebook, but if you hate fb I may be willing to keep you in the loop through email.

What we do is meet-up in public places and train our dogs.  Mostly, you train your way, I train my way, and we can co-operate to create distractions, or work at whatever we are interested in.

To Join:  Stouffville Dog Training Meet Up Group
 

Description

This is a dog training self-study group to meet up and practice training our dogs open to anyone who wants some extra practice time outside of lessons or organized activities. As study buddies we make ourselves available to create distractions or work in pairs. We meet outdoors, show up with your dog, equipment you normally use, leash or long-line required, and a plan. This is a self-study group; there will be no instruction. All training styles welcome. Work on obedience, tricks, basic manners, etc... As a courtesy to other study group handlers, please do not allow your dog to meet any of the participants unless invited (they might not appreciate a strange dog walking up to them) and please maintain control of your dog for the safety and comfort of all. 

Me, Myself and I Time

Yesterday, in my journal, I wrote, very specifically, even emphatically, that what I really wanted was some alone time, just me, myself and I time.

I’m really not that sociable.

And sometimes I just want to be alone.

In fact, I really enjoy being alone…

…when it’s a choice.

I’ve been socializing lately. Dog owners will be familiar with the term. We often refer to socializing our dogs. I’ve been socializing my dog. That dog, the one that I call the Time Thief, the one that invades just about every landscape photo I take. That dog.
It started with taking him to the dog park. He’s not a dog park dog. The rough and tumble within the gates is too much rough and tumble, so I worked with him on the other side of the fence. Now that’s a lonely experience, and not the welcome variety, being literally on the wrong side of the fence while everyone else mixes and mingles.
So I started a dog meet-up group.  And, surprise! People are coming out to meet with me. Wow! It’s been awesome, wow! Did I say wow? It’s not every day that I meet with a new person, and now I’m meeting lots (one new person counts as lots in my world) so while it’s been wonderful it can also be a lot to take in.

I’m socially awkward, yeah, I know, who isn’t, secretly we all call ourselves that. But I’m the one who either says nothing at all to you, like super rude, or won’t shut up and it’s all about me, me, me, blah blah blah – I’m the one who not only forgets your name, I forgot to ask you in the first place after you asked me mine, yeah, and I’ll know, sooner or later, that I was doing it all wrong, and how embarrassing is that, and I’ll run all my social faux pas through my head, leaving me in serious need of me, myself and I time... Did I say it was my dog that needs socialization???

So this is what I wrote in my journal:  Today I met someone new to dog walk with, I’m becoming almost social.  Tomorrow I plan to walk alone, just me myself and I, plus Sonic. I need a day off from humans.

And this is what happened afterwards.
I went for a walk in the woods, after dark, to, you know, be alone. I drove to the woods,  no distractions, falling darkness, traces of snow to light the way. I walked, alone, in the dark.

 It    felt    great.

Then I ran into Monkey, and Monkey’s owner. And I have no clue who Monkey’s owner is, except male, but Monkey’s a Malinois x German Shepherd and a little shy and paranoid after dark and friendly and playful with weirdo’s like me that just yap away with said owner.  So much for alone time—but I’m a sucker for a cute dog.

But there’s always tomorrow.
And tomorrow came, with rain and fog. Excellent weather for me myself and I time, right?  Even dog walkers skip the lousy days, right?  Surely, no one would be using the park, in the damp and dark and gloom, right?
I’d have all that trampled grass and greasy slush to myself.
And the park was predictably delightfully empty when I arrived, as expected.  And the fog was ethereal, and the silence sublime,  and I had the place all to myself, until I didn’t.
Her name was Charlotte—she told me so. She was there with her dad. She didn’t take no for an answer, because regardless of how much I pretended not to hear her calling out “hello, hello, hello” she kept saying. So much for a day all by myself.
And it was magical. Did I say magical? That over-used word of rainbows, unicorns and fairy dust?  Of standing in the fog shrouded park I traded smiles and chats with strangers, and Sharlotte (because we didn’t get into spelling, who knows) grasped my hand and had us running running running, through the park until I was breathless and we had to stop. It was exhilarating and it was fun, and yes, magical and the brief human exchange of joy made the desired solitude, once delivered, richer, deeper, fuller.
Me, myself and I time is better when backed by others.

PS:  this post has now been ported to where it belongs, my journalling blog http://kaslkaos.blogspot.com , art, journalling, prose, whatever.